I laughed as I started writing this piece. This is for single people and take my words seriously. I have dealt with a lot of cases like I will describe here. It was heart heart wrenching. 

A lot of marriages are breaking down because they met each other in a no man’s land. They did not really love each other when they came together. They married under pressure.

It goes like this. You got to the UK or any foreign country and you are lost or almost lost. You are confused and you have no money, no accommodation or friends. You are so desperate.

You eventually got a job at a warehouse, at a care company, a supermarket, a cleaning job, a security job or a bouncer at a club. Am I talking down on some jobs? Not at all. I was once a cleaner, a burger fryer and a London Underground station cleaner.

You know that job is below you because you know you have so much prospects in life. You are here as an overstayer, here for work or for your 1st degree or a Master’s Degree.

You met this guy or a lady who appeared friendly and who you talk to regularly. Suddenly, you became close. To make matters dicy, he or she is a British citizen or settled in the UK. You have a part of your mind thinking of a permanent stay through him or her.

The person became your adviser. The person gives or lend you money when you are broke. He or she gives you a lift from time to time. It is cold and winter is no man’s friend. Before you know it, you are already living together and you become pregnant. Before you know it, the lady has become your wife. Before you know it, you have a child or children.


After a while, your life started changing. You sha completed your education and got a good job. The warehouse guy or lady no longer fits your profile. You need an upgrade. Your eye has opened and the desperation is gone. You have now seen better fine babes and better looking men. Wahala! Wahala! Wahala! Meaning, Trouble, Trouble, Trouble!

Your problem was, you were in Gilgal, you got to Jericho (warehouse) but the destination was Jordan, but, you settled in Jericho. You settled down with someone you did not really love. You now have children and you have never been happy. Your mood is always low.

You are always fighting but you cannot say the root cause of the regular problems. It was because you got hooked to your partner out of desperation. The situation here in the UK can be funny. Divorce is not far from you.

Don’t marry out of desperation. Your temporary challenges will soon go away. Marry someone that you truly love so that you can have a happy marriage.

What brought this into my mind sef? Happy new week.

Dele Olawanle is my name. I think, write and speak to make lives better. If you have been inspired, follow me and let us grow together.